I'm So Very Lucky

31 July, 2017

Hello Sugarplums!

I should be editing and working away right now, or perhaps even sleeping. But rather than that, I am sat thinking as usual.

I got a nice selfie today, thought I'd share it with you!
Tonight I am thinking about my life, you (the reader/viewer) and my achievements.

Some days can truly be testing, of course they can. We all suffer some days and others we bask in our happiness. I will be first to admit that over the last few months I have had some real down days. I've truly struggled recently to be happy, and it's taken a real toll on me, not just with my emotional well-being, but also with my work.

About three days ago, I decided enough was enough. I have isolated myself enough already and spent too long pushing people away who cared. I took some time to think about me, my life, and where I want to be and who I want to be. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to be sad most of the time, and right then, my lifestyle was most certainly making me sad. Ultimately I decided it was time to repair the bridges I had burnt.

Over the coming weeks you will most certainly notice that I've been making a lot more effort to be happy and also making more effort with other people. It will show in my content and in many other places.

I realised the biggest issue I had was that I spent so long feeling isolated, feeling as though I wasn't good enough, like I was going nowhere. The reality is, I have achieved so much in life already and will achieve so much more, just like you reading this will. You just have to look for the light in the darkness to realise it.

Make an effort with the people who care about you, spread joy and kindness. Don't isolate yourself, it was the worst decision I ever made. Now I am working on fixing the mistakes I made and repairing those burnt bridges. Realising my achieves and just how lucky I am is the first step.

I am, truly, so very lucky to be where I am and be supported the way I am. I will be forever thankful for all of your love and support.

Of course there will still be down days, there always will be. I still very much feel as though I don't currently "fit in" anywhere. I don't have a group of friends. I don't have a single "real life" friend, but I'm working on it. I'm thinking positive. I will fit in somewhere, soon, I know it.

Thanks for reading my babbling.

Make someone smile today.

Bea x


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