Life Has Changed

17 March, 2021

 

Well...


It's been quite a while since I wrote anything for my blog. November 2020 to be exact. It was immediately before my YouTube channel began to pick up traction in late November so I was writing said blog post from a place of defeat and failure. At the time that I wrote that post, I felt like I had failed myself. Mostly due to the fact that after 6 years on YouTube I hadn't really got anywhere and felt like there was something about me that was just doomed to be unsuccessful.

Turns out, I was way in my own head. To the point where I felt like I had no options left other than to give up, let go of my dreams, and pursue something else. Then, out of no where, I got the motivation to push one last time and try something else. I gave it my all and threw myself into it and somehow... it worked. In November we went from our usual of 25,000 views in a month to 600,000. Absolute madness. I continued to push hard knowing I'd made a big discovery about what I was capable of. In December that 600,000 became 1.3 million, in January 1.6 million, in February 2.6 million and as of the 17th of March, we're currently standing at 1.6 million this month. This is absolute madness. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would finally be living the dream I always knew I wanted to. It always felt like a pipe dream, like something I would never be able to achieve. Six months ago I felt lost and powerless, and in just a short few months I'm self employed running my own business and getting to do the job of my dreams. I don't know what I did to deserve this other than work insanely hard every single day as best as I could. I grew up being told that if I fail, as long as I can confidently say I tried my best, there was nothing more that could be expected. So that's what I did. I tried my best. And it worked.

So here I am, writing once again for this blog, but now from a very different place. A place of confidence and fulfilment. There's still a long way to go to continue diversifying what I have built so far and to keep encouraging growth wherever I can, especially as a person. But right now I feel very content (while still hungry to keep working and achieving) and it's one of the nicest feelings in the world. Feeling as though I have achieved something by myself purely due to my hard work without the help of others is an incredible feelings. Of course I had advice and encouragement from close friends who are also in the space or just in my life in general, and at the beginning a little help with editing etc, but knowing the main bulk of work, the main reason I am succeeding right now is due to my hard work... well, that feels wonderful.

People always tell you that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. I guess they're right.


Today I had a long day but it was a day filled with accomplishment. I finished my work early enough to focus on some passion projects (primarily this blog) as well as taking my cat to the vet for neutering (which admittedly left me with a lot of anxiety throughout the day) and even some time to head outside for some fresh air.

A little walk in the forest always calls for a quick photograph.

While outside I often try to find good spots to take pictures. I don't go outside nearly enough and certainly don't leave my comfort zone enough. So whenever I do head out, I like to try to take some pictures while I'm there. This being one of them.

I didn't actually start my day thinking about blogging. Lately I don't feel like I'm good at telling cohesive stories. I'm so tired all of the time that most of the things I write or vlog end up being ramblings that are all jumbled up and out of order. I guess sometimes that's not always a negative thing but I admit even I stop and look over or think over what I've written or said and think "what on earth was that?". That's been pretty common lately. I mean, I feel like I've flip-flopped between conversation topics in this blog post as well. In reality it's probably due to me not actually writing or vlogging for so long that I have so much to tell everyone and feel like I need to blurt it all out at once. For the sake of letting my brain have a break after a very long day, here's another picture taken from today.



I imagine by now you're wondering what my plan is with this blog. In honesty, it was always intended to be a place for me to blurt out my inner emotions and just talk freely about whatever rubbish is in my head. I intend on still utilizing it for that when and if I have the time to write. For when I do, I hope you will enjoy my posts. If not, that's fine too! But here are my inner-ramblings as always for you to enjoy or not, whatever floats your boat!


Any whodily. I've been typing for far too long and I've completely lost my train of thought, and my marbles, at least seven times at this point. I think here is a good place to call it.

Thanks for reading as always. See you next time.

Bea :)